The Penultimate Peril

Dear Reader, if this is the first book you found while searching for a book to read next, then the first thing you should know is that this next - to - last book is what you should put down first. Sadly, this book presents the next - to - last chronicle of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, and it is next - to - first in its supply of misery, despair, and unpleasantness. Probably the next - to - last things you would like to read about are a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain, and an unsavory curry. Next - to - last things are the first thing to be avoided, and so allow me to recommend that you put this next - to - last book down first, and find something else to read next at last, such as the next - to - last book in another chronicle, or a chronicle containing other next - to - last things, so that this next - to - last book does not become the last book you will read.